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December 14, 2017, 10:34:26 PM
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: Walmart Diagnostics!  ( 6202 )
« : December 03, 2009, 10:51:44 PM From Poonam»

Walmart Diagnostics!

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. It's a lot cheaper than a doctor".
So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks." Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a watersoftener.(Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

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« #1 : October 28, 2011, 04:52:42 AM From Margaret »

That would be awesome if it was for real.
« #2 : October 28, 2011, 08:39:39 AM From mark»

If that becomes real, then the most visited section in the Walmart will be the loo. :p
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