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August 23, 2017, 02:13:27 AM
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: Dumb Question and Answer :) (Hindi)  ( 138960 )
« : February 01, 2010, 11:07:45 PM From A»



Dumb Question and Answer :) (Hindi)


Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of light.

On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.

Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'

Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'

Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan Grover??

Gulshan: No it is Grocer.

Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...

Scroll down for the ultimate PJ

Further,,,

Little further...

ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C

________________________________________________________________________

Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta

Hai..

Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai,bahut ghumak phira

Ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.

Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata

Hai.

Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki

Bijli nahi hoti hai.

Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai. Kaise???

Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch

Saaf saaf dikhta hai.

______________________________________________________________________

Ek Gaaon me Seeta aur Geeta do Behane rehati hai.

Dono ko ek baar nadi paar karanee hoti hai.

Seeta nadee me kudati hai aur tairake jaatee hai.

Geeta pool ke upar se chalake jaati hai.

Phir bhi Gaaon ke log bolate hai ki Seeta Geeta se jyada intellegent

Hai.

Kyon?

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Kyon?

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Socho.

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Nahi pata?

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Kyonki

Seeta ko Geeta se S.S.C ke exam me jyada marks milate hai.

______________________________________________________________________

Teacher: 'A' for?

Student: Apple !!!

Teacher: Jor se bolo

Student: JAI MATA DI

________________________________________________________________________

Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki.

Shivji khush .

Prakat hue ...

Bole ...

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Puttar maang ...

Maang kya chahiye tujhey !

Bakth utha ...

Bole shivji ...

Mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do !

Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai ?

Unhone kaha ... puttar ...

Tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai ...

Kuch bada maang !

..

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..

Wo fir bola ... nahi ji ..mujhey to aap guitar hi do

Shivji ne phir samajhaya .. abey .. kuch dhang ka maang ... !

Par wo to ada hi hua tha ... bola nahi ... aap to mujhey guitar hi do !

Shivji usey bade pyaar se khopch me lekar samjhane lage ... bole ..yaar

TU

Kuch aur maang .. guitar

Na maang ...

Wo bola ... nahi nahi nahi !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye ... ab

Shivji gussey main aa gaye ... boley ,(scroll down)

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Saale .. agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata  

________________________________________________________________________

And this is the latest one.... shayad padaa ho pehle but phir bhi

Enjoy....................

1) Smoking

2) Drinking

3) Charas

4) Ganja

5) Chicken

6) Mutton

7) Oily food

 Masala

9) Sleep & obesity

10) Pollution

=

Heart Attack

Matlab

Scrolll down

DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!

________________________________________________________________________

Do you know why the name of Madras was replaced by Chennai???

Think......

Think..

Bit more.......

Because...a Madrassi wears lungi and there is no zip means

Chen..nai...

________________________________________________________________________

What's the opposite of "Dominoes"

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

Think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

think

tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

________________________________________________________________________

Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"

....

.....

......

okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"

________________________________________________________________________

Acha last one...............

Ok whats the opp of venky's..

venlocks...

(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)

________________________________________________________________________

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?

Ready....Steady.....PO

________________________________________________________________________

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when

He was offered tea?

Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.

________________________________________________________________________

What is a Gujju picnic called?

A snake in the grass.

________________________________________________________________________

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?

Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'

________________________________________________________________________

What did the Gujju! mean when he said," Maro dikro

STATES ma gayon?"

His son failed in statistics.

________________________________________________________________________

Maro dikro Dubai gayo?

My son drowned.

________________________________________________________________________

A guy is traveling in a deluxe car in the desert. He wants to take a

Bath, but he hasn 't got a soap and there is no water anywhere around

....

What can he do?

->>He will integrate his d-lux car to get Lux + c (constant of

Integration) Using the lux soap he will take bath in the 'c '.

________________________________________________________________________

One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile

His call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on

Talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.

What MORAL do u get???

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An IDEA can change your wife.

________________________________________________________________________

________

Ek baar teen ants jarahi thee.......

To unhein cheenee(sugar) ki bori milti hie to pahlee do cheenti to

Usmein se cheenee ke dane utha leti hei but ek nahi uthati batao kyu

............

kyunki

kyunki

Use diabetes thee

________________________________________________________________________

________

A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.

 

Guess why ?

because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

________________________________________________________________________

________

whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping

from 10th floor?

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former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa

later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)

________________________________________________________________________

________

Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?

Think......

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

............

socho socho

............

............

............

............

............

............

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............

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............

the answer is ..........

They Both Are Not a Banana !!



Question: An elephant was in love with a
she-elephant.
But the she-elephant went and got married to some
other elephant. So our elephant was very Depressed.
One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him
to
a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a
see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song
would
our hero sing?

Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in
love
with each other and want to get married, but
cannot.
Why?

Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is
illegal.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Question: One fine morning, Ravan felt guilty day
for
all his bad deeds. He felt that he should go an
apologise to Ram for all the problems he had
caused.
So he went to Ram's house and knocked on the door.
Ram
opened the door and was surprised to find Ravan
standing there. Ravan just kept staring and
thinking
but didn't say a word. What was he thinking?
Ans: "Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Question: How do you "cut" roads?

Ans: By laughing... because "Haste haste cut jaye
raaste".

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and
pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?

Ans: Because Luv is blind.

Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?

Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Question: Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya
hai?...........

...........

.........Socho, socho. Nahi pata?

Ans: D'Cold; Because... Chan ki saans - D'Cold

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Chalo ab batao, Jackie Chan ki bahu ka
naam
kya hai? ..........

.............
This one's really simple...

Ans: D'Cold again... Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu
thi
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?

"So, which platform are you working on?"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Question: What do you call a person who is leaving
India?

Ans: Hindustan Lever.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: What do you call a person who leaves
India,
but doesn't travel much?

Ans: Hindustan Lever Limited.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: In an elephant school, some loafer
elephants
were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female
elephant passes by. What do the loafer elephants
say
about her?

Ans: Look yaar, 36000 - 24000 - 36000!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha. Uska
naam kya tha?

Ans: Adidas.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Prasad asks Kumble to bring a Pepsi.
Kumble
brings a bottle, but takes it directly to
Tendulkar.
Why?

Ans: Because Tendulkar is an opener.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: What is the similarity between
Satynarayan
pooja and the Indian cricket team?

Ans: Dono ke ant me "Prasad" aataa hai.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: Who is Joe?

Ans: Kambakth ishq... Because "Kambakth ishq hai
Joe!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Question: The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie
"my heart is an umbrella'. Which movie did he
really
want to see?

Ans: Dil Chhaata Hai.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


these will make u fall off ur chair!!


Woh kaun sa hindi geet hai jis main "Internet
Explorer" ka zikar kiya gaya
hai???

Hint: The heroine also refers to herself as
InternetExplorer.

If you don't know...

Scroll down for the answer...
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>Scroll further down
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>A bit more
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
The answer is... Maine Pyar Kiya.

And the song goes....

Aajaa shaam hone IE (Internet Explorer)
Mausam ne lee angada IE
To kis baat ki hai lada IE
Tu chal........ Main IE !!!
>
>
>
>
>
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa,RaamPyaari, RaamDulari,RaamPuri and
RaamChuri
were crawling on the wall when all of a sudden,
Phulwa
started to sing a song. the moment Phulwa stopped
singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri
and
RaamChuri fell down
from the wall !!!...
WHY  
scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . .

>
>
>
>
>
> >>>.
> >>>.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> not getting, very simple yaar..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> coz, they all started clapping !!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ek Aur
>
> PJ Isse kehte hain.........
>
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. lecture ke
baad use
bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen.
canteen
mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav
khane ke
liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein
"jannat" likha hai.

To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska
lecture attend karke aa raha hai, us proffessor
ka
naam kya hai???
guess
scroll down for the answer
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>..
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>.
> >>>
The answer is

Ishq Ki Chhaon.

Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....

Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film
"Dil
> >>>Se"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>One More
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
....and the Answer is..........
>
>
>
>>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>> >>>
> >>>
>
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.Scroll down.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.Just One Scroll ..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
>
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>..
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
> >>>.
> >>>
HASINA !

PS: hottest pie in the town
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



This one will make u mad..........

Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100
...and then start searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rightin front of Einstein...........
Einsteins counting......
97,98,99.....

100........
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims tht he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out and he proves tht he is not newton..........
how.................
> >>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>scroll down.........
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>....scroll down......... further..............
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>.......
> >>>
> >>>.............
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>...................Scroll little......
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>His proof:
> >>>
> >>>Newton says:
> >>>I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
> >>>That means i am Newton per meter square......
> >>>Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter
square =Pascal
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 
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